Opinions are WELCOME!!!
Dec 21, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmOlPxFybPQ

[Music]
hey you guys welcome to vlogmas day at
21 can you guys believe it 21 only a few
more days for 2019 and then what oh my
gosh you guys I am so optimistic about
where our year is gonna take us what we
have in store like uh I can't wait I
really can't wait this is the first time
I can honestly say I cannot wait for a
new year I really can't 2019 definitely
show has showed its hardhead quite a few
times for us but you know what we're
going out of 2019 in a much better place
than we even started last year
everything from Ollie having permanent
job permanent income stable income when
you own your own business sometimes you
can't guarantee where that income is
gonna come from because you are the only
one to bring that in you don't have
somebody to write you a check every you
know two weeks or every week or once a
month you know you don't have that
luxury your your bit job is you either
sell and make money or you're just gonna
be drop dead poor and you know starting
at the beginning of the year we started
hard you know we started heavy like busy
we had quite a few good cells coming
through with the car business and it was
looking really high for us and then
little by little it just started
dwindling down and you know I think it
took a lot for ollie to finally accept
hey you know what this business just
isn't working for me right now we're not
in a location where it's going to
probably work I need to go ahead and
agree to fold this business but you know
when you put your blood sweat and heart
into something that you were so
passionate about and you just see it
buying before your eyes it's hard it's
hard and it's a grieving process no
matter which way around it that you look
you have to grieve that because it's a
dream that you had that you're just
losing and this was always his dream was
to own his own business and I think it's
not the lack of oli not doing good
enough but I think more so it was oli
we're not in a pillowcase where cells
are high right now because the
competition is so high there is I mean
every corner you go on there are
used-car Lots everywhere you know we
were looking for a lot every time one
would come available I mean literally in
the same day maybe even the same hour
that the sign went up it was taken down
so it's not that he failed his business
it's just that you can't run a business
if there's no business around and the
best way that I can describe it was when
you're watching cars the cartoon and
[Music]
they're driving down the road and
there's a like a forgotten gas station
or a scary movie even there's that
forgotten scat station that's looking a
little creepy and dry that's kind of how
I seen our shark our car business was it
was just getting a little creepy and a
little dry because the cells were just
far in few in between and not only that
but there was a lot of stand ups where
people would call and get him all
excited that they're gonna come and buy
a car and he would sit there and wait
and wait and wait and wait for hours and
nobody would show up nobody would call
him back and you know say I'm sorry but
we went somewhere else or we're just not
interested and a lot of times he would
call them and they would reject his
phone calls or you know it just it was
really a it was sad it was sad to watch
and my heart broke for my husband he was
in a very dark place at the beginning of
this year
it wasn't easy to watch the person that
you love the most
go through a time in their life where
they are so low at their lowest and you
can't do anything
I couldn't wave a magic wand and make
people come in and buy cars
I couldn't wave a magic wand and put us
in a location where we could at that
point have the amount of cars and
business to make our life completely
stay afloat so you know I if I could do
anything to save Ali's business I would
have because I know that's something
that he dreamed of for a long time but
it just wasn't the right time and when
you start a business there's so much so
much you have to put into it you have to
have a certain amount of money to put
into it because you have to invest in
permits and licensing and inventory
desks computers I mean there's so much
that goes into opening up a business and
I think that you know we should have
done a lot more studying about it before
we just took the leap and jumped but you
know what it brought us to where we are
today and that is what makes me proud
now you know with us going through our
scary moment it did you know at the
beginning a summer where you know
finances were pretty much gone and we
didn't know what what our next step was
we had no idea we didn't know where the
next dollar was gonna come from but we
were counting quarters to make sure we
had enough to just buy bread you know at
the moment because we were so dried up
and people say well why didn't you go
get food stamps why didn't because you
can't you it's not that easy
yes I could have went down and I could
have gotten food stamps but not it's
much different when somebody owns a
business there's a lot of hoops that you
have to go through to get assistance
from the state it doesn't just happen
that quickly
and we needed it then not not later on
down the road so with the kindness of so
many people that gathered and rallied
together to help me in my family I knew
that we would be okay it was gonna be
tight and it was gonna be hard but I
knew we would be okay and I knew that we
had amazing people standing behind us
then we decided no you know why we think
it's a better option you know and think
of yourself as a mouse in a corner and
you've got someone coming at you with a
broom you have like two options to make
you either move or you're gonna sit
there and possibly get hit but you got
to do one and you got to do it quick
well that's kind of how we fell we felt
like a mouse in a corner because if we
stayed we're taking the chances that we
become homeless No or we could move out
of the way out of the corner so move out
of state but then where are we gonna go
we knew the location I mean we had a
location but we knew nothing about it so
we were gonna go in blind with nothing
to back us up there either so possible
chances we were gonna run into the exact
same problem there as we had here you
can't run from your problems and we're
learned we learned that there's no
problem that you can run from if you're
not gonna face it because at the end of
the day it's gonna come up and bite you
a good one and it's gonna get you hard
so for us we decided you know what
moving is just not the answer that's not
we can't just up and move that's just
not even reality I mean we were
literally trying to move within three
days because we were so scared our
landlords telling us you got to get out
because you're not paying the rent and
I'm like wait a minute we're trying
we're trying if you would work with us
we're trying so we decided to stay you
know because that's just the next thing
we felt most comfortable with so at that
point and that's when me and all he sat
down and I said you know what this is
where you're gonna have to hit
and you're gonna have to go and find a
job you're gonna have to do this we we
can't you know we can't just sit here
and wait for something to land on the
doorstep it's just not gonna happen
we we me and you we have to do the
footwork so we loaded the car up on a
Monday he dressed in a suit and we went
to runnin and we went to jogging and we
went to driving looking for a job and we
stopped at every place possible and you
know and even the night before I sat up
until two o'clock in the morning making
his resume helping him not making it but
helping him create his resume so that he
had something to even give over to
people as they were asking for it so
when Monday came around that's when we
went and we hit concrete by Tuesday I
Tuesday ollie was offered a job by
Tuesday so within 24 hours all he had a
job again did we know what kind of job
it was gonna be yeah we knew but we
didn't know what the finances were gonna
look like with that job we had no idea
but with a leap of faith we decided to
take that position and stay put where we
were out because we realized one way or
the other we're gonna be in a big heap
of problems if we didn't do something
and have actions made now so that's why
I only took the job that he did and
since being at his job for four months
you guys four months my husband has been
promoted two times since then and his
job his the the company looked at him
and told him you have so much potential
Ollie we we will not take less from you
than being an executive at some point in
our company you he even went to a
training and out of I don't even I don't
even know the numbers but thousands he
hit number one-ranked for his position
that he's working he won the football
trophy for the
employee of the company could you
believe with the smile that came off of
my husband's face and the the proudness
that he carried knowing that he now took
something that was so bad and made it
something amazing in just four months
you know are we still tight right now
absolutely we are we're tight we are
tight but you know what we're making it
and we've learned a lot of lessons
within 92019 where budget budget budget
that's our new motto budget budget
budget we do not spend money unless we
have to spend money yes we spend money
here and there very very rarely will you
see us spend much money because now it's
we have to budget because you know what
you never ever know if that might happen
to you again you may walk into your job
one day and then give you a pink slip
and say I'm sorry but you're gone what
are you gonna do if you have nothing to
fall back on what would you do you'd be
in the same situation we're in or work
we were in but me and my husband took
something that was so bad and could have
been even worse and flipped it around
within 24 hours because we weren't gonna
settle for that we weren't gonna just
sit there and be like okay well we're
gonna you know we're gonna fall victim
of this situation no we're gonna come
out of here and we're gonna come out
here fighting and we're gonna own this
because that's what we have to do and
that's exactly what we did
you know I know that there's rumors out
there still about how me and my husband
are scammers and we taken we've taken
people's money and you know what at this
point in my life people are gonna
believe what they want to believe in and
that's okay you know I don't have to
continuously try to protect my name and
fight my innocence you know I know the
truth the people that receive their
money back knows the truth the people
that receive their money back and
decided to give it back to us knows the
truth and that's all that matters
anybody else it doesn't really matter
what their opinion is
I know that that sometimes hard to
swallow but that's the truth so you know
yeah like I said I still hear it
sometimes so she's a scammer she's this
but in reality I'm not gonna
continuously fight my innocence because
you know I'm not I'm not gonna fight
that I want to put my I would rather put
my fight and my energy into continuing
to build my family and make us be an
empire rather than fighting my innocence
to people that will never accept the
truth so for me it's like I I've moved
on and I just don't even play into it
anymore and so going into 2020 there is
so many things changing that I cannot
wait for January 1st 2020 to roll over
and be like here we go we've got another
year ahead of us and we're gonna make it
count and we're gonna count it well
talking about that going into the next
subject so I did talk to you guys a
little bit the other day about the
challenge that me and Jen have decided
to go up against each other and do a
weight loss challenge and I am so
excited and so is she
but I wanted to just say I was watching
last night some videos and I had a
recommendation from I you have to I
apologize I'm not sure of the name 100%
but it's cupcake something but I I don't
know because I have never seen her
channel before but she was in my
recommendation box so I seen and it had
my name on it so I was like huh okay
that's kind of interesting and you know
I don't mind people talking about my
channel just like I just stated a minute
ago I I know the person I am I know who
I am and I know what I stand for and
that's all that matters anything else I
want to spread that word and I want to
spread who I am but for people that
won't accept it I can't continue to keep
fighting to prove that people are going
to accept me just the way I am and those
are going to be the my true loyal people
that really truly support me and stand
behind me
so anyways
I was watching it and she was talking
about the challenge and how me and Jen
are going to do what she called it a a
nought of something bent a weight bet or
child weight loss but I don't know
anyways but I just wanted to kind of
explain you know first of all we all
have an opinion and we all are allowed
to have our opinion that's the beauty of
this world is that everybody has an
opinion and we all are entitled to our
opinion some might agree and some might
not and that's okay you can respect the
fact that somebody has a different
opinion and move on that's how I've
learned life lately and you know I I've
talked about this person multiple times
on my channel and I will continue to
keep talking about her but I watch Rosie
faithfully every single day I watch
Rosie and I will say that is one thing
that she has taught me is that everybody
has an opinion some are gonna agree in
some aren't but we can all come together
have our opinions and still be friendly
still be behind each other agree to
disagree and move on and continue to
have that friendship or that
relationship and that has changed so
much of my you know the way that I see
things because now I realize you know
what that is the beauty of life is that
we do have an opinion so some are gonna
agree with what me and Jen are doing and
some aren't and that's okay
I am totally okay with that I'm not
going to tell you you're wrong for
thinking that what we're doing is gonna
you know make no sense or we're gonna
gain weight or you know we're only gonna
last for a few weeks I would just ask
that you know remember that we're a
human being you know all human beings
have made mistakes in their lifetime
that they wish that they didn't do you
know I'm sure that there has been other
people that have tried to lose weight
and have conquered it for a little while
and fell off the bandwagon I know that
there are people
have had the weight loss surgery lost
the weight and five to ten years later
they've gained it all back but does that
make them a bad person
no they're human they struggle everybody
struggles with weight at some given time
whether it's you're too skinny or you're
too fat but it's I've I feel like
there's not too many that are in-between
but just remember that we are human
beings and we just deserve to have the
support you know and if we mess up help
us brush our knees off and see us go
further you know do I plan on messing up
absolutely not am i hoping that this is
gonna keep us going
absolutely it's just like a person
trying to learn to ride a bike it's
gonna take you a few times to fall off
to finally get the grip of what balance
you need to keep that bike going and
keeping it level on ground and that's
the exact same thing with health so for
somebody that struggles with their
health and struggles with weight it
might take us a few times to fall off to
get back up and say okay that that's
tragedy didn't work so what other one
can we try because something's gonna
click and something's gonna keep us
going and something's gonna work it has
to as long as we don't give up and as
long as we keep trying something's gonna
work and that's the way that I see it is
you know what I am on a bike and I am
trying to figure it out I am trying with
all my might to see how my wills are
supposed to turn with my feet and how my
body is supposed to stay afloat and not
fall and skinned my knees and get hurt
and then get scared and not want to go
back on I always brush my knees off and
I always come back with a swing it might
not be what other people think is good
and that's okay but that's my way of
working my life out and you know again
do I hope that this is going to be the
one that just finally clicks and I get
that solid piece of you know writing
that I can get it under control and not
have any mess-ups or you know accidents
of course I think everybody that
struggles with weight and health I think
everybody hopes that that one one thing
that they try is going to be the thing
that clicks
you know what not everybody is perfect
we all have flaws all of us struggle in
our own separate ways just like with me
and Jen she's gonna do her thing to lose
the weight I'm gonna do my thing to lose
the weight I'm gonna focus on certain
things she's gonna focus on certain
things the cupcake lady was like you
know and I don't know if they're in
therapy yes I am in therapy I'm not
quite sure what Jen does with her
therapist it's not my business but what
I do is I go weekly and I have been
going weekly for two and a half years I
see her and I also have a dietician
therapist that I also see that is who
diagnosed me with binge eating disorder
and other things and you know and I
heard that the cupcake lady said well
Amy talks very vaguely about the
medicines that she's on and her health
issues that she's on and how I talked
about creeping the door open with
diabetes but she didn't quite understand
without been now mind you I'm not
throwing shade at this lady because
again I don't know who she is
I don't think she's wrong for
questioning because she's just learning
the person that I am and that's totally
okay and I love to be able to come back
and say hey this is this is what you
know this is the explanation for why I
do what I do so when I say that I crack
the door open was my levels of my a1c is
just over the line of diabetic
pre-diabetic so I'm just on that level
where they are starting me on the Med
Foreman but I'm not far enough in that
I'd have to take insulin or anything
like that so I'm at the prime level that
I could get this turned around and I can
get it turned around quickly if i nip it
in the bud now and I do what I'm
supposed to do I can turn that around
and it's not going to take much the
medications that I'm on I don't know
what my medication I'm on by name
because I'm on multiples but I'm on
anxiety anxiety meds depression meds
water pill vitamin D supplement a
sleeping pill for my PTSD at nighttime
um my med Foreman and that is it I think
but like I'm on to and or I'm on to
anxiety meds I'm on to depression pills
I'm on the water pill I'm on the vitamin
D supplement I'm on the Med Foreman I'm
on my sleeping pill for my PTSD
nightmares and um and then I also he is
prescribe me
ibuprofen in the past for pain when
needed but right now we have taken
myself off because I'd be program
actually can cause swelling so because
he's put me on the diet are the not the
diet pill the diuretic water pill he
doesn't want me taking the ibuprofen so
that's why he did that so that's where
it's at um I do have high blood pressure
but again my blood pressure fluctuates
so much that one minute it could be
great that next one it could be over the
roof it's not a constant you know high
level reading all the time so in return
they put me on a very low dose of low
blood blood pressure medicine to help
stabilize that just for now
I had my gallbladder taken out due to
gallstones I also suffer with kidney
stones and I also suffer with liver
stones my liver is torn up so I struggle
sometimes with pain within my liver and
my kidneys
yeah I haven't mom knock on wood I have
not had a kidney stone in about a year
but I was getting them bad enough that
they had to go in and put it I don't
know what those things are called but
through my uresa to drain them out that
was the most painful I think that was
worse than having a baby so I had that
I've had a few DNC's due to miscarriage
and then to DNC's because of heavy
bleeding
I have an IUD I think that's it if I
forgot something I'm sorry but I mean I
don't hide what I have I don't hide the
medicines that I Maya although I don't
know the names of them I'm not right off
the bat and I don't feel like going and
grabbing them right now so you know I do
not have to hide what I have I'm not
ashamed of what I have I'm a shame that
I've given myself all of these problems
besides any of my weight related things
like diabetes the high blood pressure I
do not have high cholesterol I have that
checked in its normal range you know
sometimes people say doctors would not
say that there's a healthy fat person
but yes they do because my doctor has
told me that you are a healthy obese
person morbidly obese person so he's
even said that no does that mean he
wants me to say big no he wants me to
lose my weight because clearly there are
other issues than just like the blood
pressure cholesterol things like that
there's the breakdown of my bones
clearly we've seen that happening you
know within my knees and the lymphedema
and my 1 back of my leg
but you know what it's I'm not gonna
fall victim of my obesity I'm gonna own
it and I want to own it I deserve to own
it and I will own it I'm ready for
change I'm ready to get my life back you
know I'm one of those people and you
would probably look at me but like what
are you talking about but I am one of
those people that cannot wait to get out
and do rock climbing I want to do hiking
I love being outside but right now my
weight has made me a prisoner of my own
home and now because I've been a
prisoner of my own home for so long
now I have anxiety to go out in the
public and that never was me before
people say to me sometimes that have
known me for years Amy you have changed
so much in the last couple of years and
you're right I have my weight my my
weight has become what controls my life
and
I don't want that anymore I want to have
you know a beautiful beautiful wedding
with my husband that we deserve you know
because we did not have a big wedding
when we got married I want to go on a
beautiful family vacation but I want to
do it when I'm at a weight that I'm
comfortable with why would I want to
take a vacation right now when one I
could not fit in an airplane if I wanted
to unless I take up a couple seats too
what would we do hold on you guys let me
go and get a wheelchair that you guys
are gonna have to push me or all around
for how is that fun how is that fun and
it's not so for me I told all day I'm
like I don't want to do anything I don't
want to go anywhere because I'm just
gonna pull you guys back I would rather
send you guys and me stay home so that
you guys can make memories and he said
absolutely not he said I am NOT taking
our children on a vacation without my
wife their mother so when we're taking
pictures and making memories we have a
missing person he said no no we're not
gonna do that you're going to lose your
weight you're going to get healthy and
you're going to do this for yourself and
for us it's only fair that my children
finally get a life of memories I want to
be able to take them to the zoo and not
have to go in a wheelchair I want to
take them to Walmart and God go do
grocery shopping and not have to be like
oh well let me go see if there's a motor
cart before I can go in because if not
then I'm not gonna be able to go I want
to get up in the morning and be able to
clean my house from top to bottom and go
take a shower and be refreshed every
single morning and not feel like I'm
gonna fall over of a heart attack
because I just stood and did the dishes
those are all things that I desire and I
want to change so bad I am like you know
somebody said well why why wait until
the first why not do it now
because I want to be prepared I don't
want to start and not be prepared
I want everything at my fingertips so I
have no excuse I'm going to do this I
want to do this I will do this and I'm
going to conquer this I have to there's
no other choice but I can see why people
question it they question it I've led
people down before by losing weight and
gaining them back or trying to lose
weight and I fall off the bandwagon but
again I am a human being we all do that
from time to time we've all done it I'm
not the only person that has done it
so maybe just when you're holding me at
when you hold me at your expectations
keep them out of reality
keep in mind that I am a human and I'm
trying but I am fighting for my life and
this is not just something that I am
taking lightly but I am taking a
wholeheartedly because again I need this
my back I can't do it anymore with my
back I can't do this with my knees I
can't get certain imaging done because
of my weight I can't I can't keep living
like this I don't love myself right now
and I want to fall in love with myself I
want to be able to look in the mirror
and be proud of the person that I am
because that's the only way I'm gonna be
able to continue life and enjoy it but
right now looking in the mirror being
like oh my god how can my husband look
at me how can my children look at me
I've got to be an embarrassment to
everybody that's what goes through my
head I know that's not the truth I know
that they all love me but you can't tell
me that they don't think about that
because I do so why would I think
differently for them it's true so
anyways I bable bable bable bable but
yeah go over and
it's cupcake I really don't know her
full name but I'm sure if you type in
miner Jin's name her video will come up
she's got a good you know a good amount
of things that she's talking about on
the channel or on the video about me I
haven't watched any of the other stuff I
just seen her last night you know but I
just asked that she also watches with an
open eye watch with an open heart be
compassionate when you're watching don't
be judgmental but be compassionate
remember we're trying to learn to ride a
bike it's gonna take us a few times be
there to support us and hold the
handlebars so we can keep going dragging
us down and making fun of us and saying
that we're not gonna make it that's not
doing anything to help us we need all
the support to stand behind us and say
you can do this and you will do this but
if there's people standing in the way of
us then we're not gonna get through and
I don't want anybody to hold us back I
want everybody to be there to support us
because I love having everybody around
and I want to make everybody so happy
but I want to make myself happy that's
what I'm ready for is to be able to wake
up in the morning and be happy to put my
feet on the ground not wake up in the
morning put my feet on the ground about
scream because my knees hurt that's the
reality so anyways that was a that was a
tough talk but I hope you guys enjoy
today's vlog means and I will check in
with you guys again tomorrow
stay bless you guys bye bye